[sic]:Halloween; Dressed as a robot. a Robot made of cardboard and vent tubing arms. central park. Just lying in the sun, eyes closed, soaking the orange vitamin d through my eyelids. No….
Not Halloween, but dressed as a robot anyway. A robot made of cardboard and vent tubing arms. Prospect Park. Just lying in the sun, eyes closed, soaking the orange "vitamin d" through my eyelids. I opened them to see if I could find a cloud in the shape of a dragon or a pig sitting on a helicopter-octopus or something. That, I did not see, however I did see a cloud in the shape of a clear pair of roller-skates with clutter inside it, descending directly above me. I realized it was not a cloud but a UFO with a sense of humor. I was in the middle of a sci-fi movie cliché . I experienced the instinct to flee.. I watched from behind a tree as the craft came to a stop on the side of a hill in between the pines; this was not a high traffic area in a clearing but someone would probably still be by in the next thirty seconds.
It landed softly and faded into the surrounding scenery before I could get a good look at the interior. A teardrop convex cutout of the background-shaped-section opened out like a door and before it closed I got a glimpse of some stylish furniture, and a twinkle and a glare from various objects. A bird headed biped walked out. With a beak that's movement's didn't match it‘s words, I heard a casual voice with colloquial idioms ask me a very coherent question:
collage by colleen cunningham
"Do you happen to know the location of a travel office?"
I laughed in shock a little embarrassment that I could assume life would follow a cliché. The only one I was embarrassed in front of was myself., and that didn’t bother me much. I retrieved my higher brain functions and answered as though they were any other tourist, just making an art of under-reacting . I was fairly sure I didn't need to speak simplistically for I had already witnessed the complex linguistic capabilities of this beings translator.
"Nice translator!"
"Thanks, it doesn't really have a personality, but I guess you could say it's not mean."
"Never mind."
"It's surface psychic."
"Wait a second, how is that okay?!"
"I only hear what you mean to say, not your inner-monologue"
"Oooh. I’m still not comfortable with that, but I am amazed at it’s capabilities. Travel agencies? There are thousands of them in the city, but you might not make it far as soon as someone sees you, they may have a heart attack and die or call the army or something."
"I wouldn't worry about that, besides, I have my own transportation."
"I have a better idea, reaching into my bag, I produced a laptop, all the travel info... and much of the most useful and useless information of the world to boot."
I reached out to hand it into his talons with oppositional thumbs, and had second thoughts.
"wait a minute, I might get in serious trouble handing this to you."
It impatiently lackadaisically replied:
"I told you don't have to worry, but if it makes you feel any better you can show me in my “pair of roller skates” shaped ship. I am a pacifist, in case you were wondering."
Gesturing to the place he came out of.
"Although my method for space travel (which it is not) does not require flight, my Roller-skates are certainly capable of it. I can drop you on the roof of your residence afterward, completely camouflaged as it is right now.”
“ you don’t fly through space?”
“No, I rolled into this planet seamlessly, invisibly, and then flew up into the sky to descend in a more classic style. Something you would be expecting, from a UFO to prove I wasn’t just a freak show on a roller-skate bus. The cloud mask was a nice touch if I do say so myself, I saw you staring at the clouds. Any way I like flying."
“yes that was amazing.”
I was thoroughly interested, and bored to tears of life as it was ,and had few qualms about indulging my immense curiosity. I hurried in before someone realized it wasn't a costume.
Inside was like a tiny museum. Around the perimeter- clear glass like bubble bins housed artifacts and antiquities of incredible variety and beauty, and with uses or symbolic meanings I hoped I would someday know. A cushy clear lounge, which functioned as a staircase and a series of levels running up to a seat in a bubble over what would have been the opening for one of a giants feet . He touched a wall with info graphics on it, and with a few slides across it's surface the interior was filling up chrome with wood trim and red cushions as if the liquid painting were filling the surface of the walls.
"There. My walls are composed of what some news programs on your internet call meta materials- the image is transferred from the opposite side of every angle."
"I get it. I‘ve seen that somewhere. Here it is: the entirety of human knowledge just about . Now-your going to take us with a grain of salt?".
"Yes, sometimes some of the more morbid individuals of our species enjoy watching planets covered in war, for any distance is a safe distance with the entropy field on. Go ahead punch me,. If you have a projectile weapon go ahead and try to shoot me."
"no thanks."
"really, go ahead it wont hurt me."
"mmm no."
"Well, if you did, you would notice your projectile or hand slow down very quickly and you could pull it out of the air easily."
"I'll take your word for it."
I opened the laptop and connected to the internet, I knew exactly where to go: My personal selection of the greatest known and lesser known places on earth. Where the master architecture of serendipity is best exemplified.
I started to show the highlights, when he interrupted.
"I have a little more pride than to sit here and pretend that I haven't seen your entire site already. That's why I'm here."
chapter 2
chapter 3
chapter 4
All Written By Jonah Freedman
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